"Are we sure we’re talking about the right Crouch? All this hype surrounding Brad… the drooling, the clamoring, the Googling of ‘BRAD CROUCH FEET’… which, for some, has a troubling double appeal.
But what about Matt? What more does this guy have to do? He’s healthy, he’s got the right family name, he’s scoring a heap of points. Does he need to buy giant billboards and place them all over Australia with the headline ‘PICK ME, I’M JUST AS GOOD AS MY BROTHER AND MY FEET AREN’T GONNA CRUMBLE AND WE CAN DO SOME KINKY FOOT STUFF IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO BUT CAN I LEAVE MY SOCKS ON? NO? OK FINE SOCKS OFF BUT AT LEAST LET ME CLOSE MY EYES AND PRETEND I’M JUST STEPPING ON RAW SAUSAGES’."
Author